Why Rage Is Never About “The Other”
“Your rage is against yourself.”
Most people believe anger erupts because of how others behave, yet in deeper consciousness you discover something startling, the rage you direct outward is often a war within. What looks like frustration at life could be self-hatred in disguise, a quiet contempt carried for years, erupting the moment life refuses to bend to your demands.
The rage body, if it’s there, is not built in a day. It grows each time you judge yourself, condemn your past, or blame yourself for every mistake you’ve ever made. These internal attacks accumulate layer upon layer, until any small trigger becomes the spark that releases what has long been stored.
The tragedy is that the anger that comes out towards life, our children, partners, or circumstances, is in truth already there, directed toward the self, held in a rage body below the surface. The mind blames the world for what is unresolved inside, and in doing so, the rage body grows stronger.
When consciousness finally recognises this, a shift begins. Seeing that the true target of your anger is yourself opens the doorway to healing, for what has been built through self-contempt can only be undone through self-acceptance. The end of rage begins not with control, discipline, or suppression, but with the simple willingness to stop blaming.
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Why Dynamic Meditation Can’t Heal What Blame Keeps Alive
“Expressing anger is bad news because it creates more anger.”
Many seekers turn to cathartic practices hoping to release what burns inside — shouting, hitting pillows, venting, or “letting it all out.” Yet what appears to be relief is often a trap, for expression without understanding reinforces the very thing you are trying to dissolve.
To get angry, the mind must create blame. The moment blame appears, you position yourself as a victim of life, and victimhood creates more rage, not less. This was the flaw in old cathartic methods, they confused purging with healing.
Anger is not a true emotion. It is a defence system layered over hurt, shielding you from feeling the pain that lies beneath. When you just express anger and keep the blame in place, you create more anger, which tops up the rage body.
Modern understanding recognises that true healing requires meeting the hurt that lies below the anger, the unmet grief, the shame, the fear of failure, the deep disappointment in oneself. Only when the wounding is felt without resistance does the rage body begin to truly dissolve.
The real work is not in shouting, but in softening. Not in venting, but in seeing. Not just in release, but in tenderness toward the one inside who has been hurting for so long.
The Wound Beneath the Fire
“Underneath all your rage, there’s hurt.”
Anger has a loud voice, but hurt speaks softly. Beneath every outburst lies a depth of sorrow unmet, a pain carried silently in the heart. Rage rises to block that tenderness — for to feel hurt is to feel vulnerable, and vulnerability can feel unbearable to the mind.
Self-contempt keeps the wound raw. Every judgement toward yourself, every story about your failures, every moment you tell yourself you are weak or wrong or undeserving tightens the knot inside. And when the hurt becomes too much to bear, the rage body steps forward to protect you from feeling it.
But protection is not healing. As long as the wounding remains unacknowledged, anger will continue its cycle, appearing whenever life presses on the bruise you refuse to touch. To end the cycle, the hurt must be met directly, not with blame, but with gentleness.
When the heart opens to its own pain, the need for anger falls away. What once erupted as fire reveals itself as grief, longing to be felt. Healing begins the moment you allow yourself to feel what lies underneath.
The Power of Holding Yourself in Tenderness
“You have to hold yourself in tenderness.”
The antidote to rage is not strength, it is tenderness. Healing happens not through force, but through softness, the same softness you offer a child you love. You cannot hurt a child into wholeness, and you cannot hurt yourself into growth.
To hold yourself in tenderness is to stop attacking the one inside who is struggling. It is to offer yourself the care you so readily give to your loved ones. It is to stop calling yourself weak, broken, or wrong, and to begin meeting your humanity with compassion.
Most people show others love but deny it to themselves. Yet you cannot offer to others what you refuse to give within. The rage body dissolves only when the mind turns toward itself with unconditional acceptance.
Tenderness is not indulgence. It is the willingness to nurture the wounded parts of yourself rather than punish them. When softness replaces contempt, something profound shifts. You become an ally to your own healing, not an obstacle to it.
This is the doorway to self-love.
Accepting Yourself: The Doorway to Self-Love
“When we self-accept totally then we can self-love.”
Self-love cannot arise in a mind saturated with self-condemnation. Many seek love while still holding themselves guilty for every mistake they have ever made. They try to heal the inner child while secretly believing that child is unworthy of love.
But no healing is possible without acceptance. Acceptance is not the erasure of the past, it is the deep understanding that the past cannot be undone. It is the willingness to stop beating yourself up for things you can no longer change. It is the choice to say, “I am human, and I am still worthy of love.”
Self-acceptance means being okay with whatever you find inside yourself, your patterns, your weaknesses, your reactions, your flaws. When you can meet your humanity without judgement, the rage body loses its fuel. Blame ceases, tenderness appears, and the heart softens toward its own pain.
Accepting yourself totally is the most courageous act you can take, for it demands you let go of the identity built on failure, guilt, and shame. It is the beginning of freedom.
Honouring Your Humanity Without Shame
“Be okay with whatever you find.”
The mind fears weakness because it believes weakness means failure, and failure means unworthiness. Yet weakness is simply a description of where growth is still needed. There is no shame in being human, no shame in being imperfect, no shame in carrying wounds that you are still learning to heal.
What matters is not whether you are weak, but whether you can be gentle with the part of you that is. When you accept your humanity, you no longer needs to hide behind anger. Tenderness becomes possible, and tenderness dissolves what force cannot.
The way you treat yourself matters more than anything else. If you cannot be kind to yourself, the rage body will always be waiting beneath the surface. But when kindness becomes your baseline, anger loses its foundation.
Acceptance is not passive, it is transformative. By being okay with what you find within, you remove the very mechanism that keeps suffering alive.
How Anger Damages What You Love Most
“Anger destroys relationships.”
Anger does not stay contained. It spills into your home, into your children, into the people you care about most. Anger leaves marks on the hearts around you.
But understanding this is not meant to create more guilt, it is meant to illuminate the urgency of stopping anger and healing. You cannot afford to keep attacking yourself, for the blows you direct inward inevitably radiate outward. When you hold yourself in contempt, the rage body grows, and everyone around you feels the consequences.
To end anger is to protect your relationships. It is to ensure that love can enter your life. It is to stop a generational pattern before it passes to your children.
The moment you stop blaming yourself, stop blaming others, and stop blaming the world, anger has nowhere left to live.
Becoming Your Own Best Friend
“You need to become your own best friend.”
Healing comes when you stop relating to yourself as an enemy and begin relating as a friend. A best friend holds you in tenderness, not contempt. A best friend forgives mistakes. A best friend comforts you when you cry. A best friend encourages, supports, and nurtures.
This is how you must treat yourself if you wish to be free.
To become your own best friend is to offer yourself companionship through difficulty rather than punishment. It is to sit with your own pain with the same care you would offer someone you love. It is to make choices that honour your wellbeing rather than destroy it.
When you become your own ally, the rage body cannot survive. Anger dissolves into understanding, and the mind begins to open in ways it never could while under attack.
Vishrant’s Story: A Path Forged Through Surrender
“I became my own best friend.”
Freedom is not found through perfection but through surrender. Vishrant speaks of a time when he, too, was consumed by anger, a time when rage lived so deeply within him that it shaped his entire inner world. His path to healing was not through suppression or expression, but through love.
He learned to sit with himself gently, to release his pain through creativity rather than violence, and to offer himself tenderness instead of hardness. He discovered that best friends do not harm one another: they care for, support, and walk alongside each other.
This path is available to anyone willing to stop fighting themselves. In surrender, the heart opens. In tenderness, the rage dissolves. In self-love, the wounds heal.
The Way Home: Be Gentle With Yourself
Healing begins with softness. Every moment you choose tenderness over contempt, the rage body weakens. Every time you accept yourself instead of punishing yourself, a layer of suffering falls away. And every time you hold yourself with love, you grow the capacity to love others more deeply.
You do not need to be perfect to be free. You simply need to meet yourself with the compassion you long to offer others.
Come to Satsang with Vishrant, where the invitation is simple, to end the war within, and to rediscover the quiet love that has always lived beneath the noise.
