Relaxing into okayness instead of fixing
“To just be tenderly okay with what we are, how we are, as we are.”
Vishrant teaches that the human condition is a delicate blend of light and shadow, a mix of grace and brokenness that lives within every human heart, and the true shift begins when we stop trying to fix our imperfections and start resting inside them with kindness and patience. When we stop striving to be something other than what we are, there is a quiet sense of peace that begins to unfold naturally, like sunlight finding its way through the cracks of an old wall.
He reminds seekers that most people live at war with themselves, trapped in the endless loop of self-judgment and self-rejection, believing that if they criticise themselves enough, they will finally become worthy of love. In truth, every act of inner harshness creates more separation from peace, for the mind cannot be healed through resistance, it can only soften through awareness and openness.
When we learn to allow our faults and flaws to simply exist, something beautiful happens inside, a deeper intelligence awakens that knows how to rest even when life is not perfect. This resting is not laziness or denial, it is the quiet acceptance of reality as it is, the courage to be tender with what has always been here.
To relax into okayness is to surrender the inner war, to stop striving to be someone else and to meet yourself with the gentleness that opens the door to love. In that surrender, awareness deepens, and what was once seen as broken begins to reveal its quiet perfection.
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Why beating yourself up never helps
“It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to be faulty. It’s okay to be broken.”
Vishrant reminds those who seek freedom that true growth does not come from punishment but from acceptance, for no one can be forced into love through shame. The world often glorifies self-discipline born of harshness, yet all that effort only tightens the mind and makes us weary.
When the mind is allowed to rest, awareness begins to expand, and we start to see that our mistakes are not failures but stepping stones toward understanding. The moment we stop running from what we dislike in ourselves, we begin to see that we were never truly wrong, only learning, only growing through contrast and experience.
The mind’s habit is to judge, to analyse, to find fault, yet this very activity keeps us trapped in the dream of separateness. The stillness of acceptance is what ends the dream, for when we can hold our pain without resistance, it loses its power to control us.
To rest in this openness is to return to innocence, to stop believing that perfection is the goal and to discover that being human was never a mistake. Through this gentle acceptance, suffering starts to dissolve, and what remains is simple presence, quiet and alive.
The inner bully and the habit of pain
“We’ve internalised an exterior bully.”
Vishrant often says that one of the great tragedies of human life is that many of us have learned to speak to ourselves with the same cruelty once spoken to us by others. This inner voice of criticism is so familiar that we mistake it for wisdom, yet it belongs to conditioning, not to consciousness, and it keeps us locked in a pattern of tension and defence.
The mind believes that guilt will prevent mistakes, that fear will create safety, yet neither of these bring peace. Real change arises from love, from the quiet willingness to see ourselves clearly without judgment, to sit with our own wounds until they are healed.
He explains that human beings open best when they feel safe, not when they feel threatened, and this includes how we relate to ourselves. When we replace self-blame with self-acceptance, the nervous system begins to relax, the breath deepens, and we start to experience what it means to live without fear of our own humanity.
As tenderness replaces criticism, the inner bully loses its power, and the mind becomes a friend rather than an enemy. From this softness, clarity begins to arise, not because we pushed ourselves to awaken but because love revealed itself in the silence of acceptance.
Choosing to be on your own side
“Be your own best friend.”
Vishrant shares that in his youth he struggled deeply to fit into the world, undiagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia, punished for his restlessness and misunderstood by teachers who valued control over curiosity. The world refused to accept him as he was, and so he learned, out of necessity, to accept himself, to become his own ally in a world that would not accept him.
He recalls realising at a young age that the world’s approval would never come, that the only peace available was through self-acceptance. That moment of joining his own side changed everything, for instead of fighting his nature, he began to nurture himself, choosing gentleness over guilt and self-kindness over shame.
To be on your own side is not arrogance or self-importance; it is the simple recognition that the battle within must end before peace can arise. The mind cannot open when it is under attack from itself, and so to stop attacking is to begin to heal.
When we are on our own side, life becomes softer, not because it stops being difficult but because we stop adding unnecessary suffering to it. The mind begins to rest, and the heart begins to lead, guiding us through the challenges of life with love and kindness.
Everyone is broken somewhere
“We’re all broken somewhere. We’re all wounded somewhere.”
Vishrant speaks with compassion about the inevitability of human imperfection, explaining that to live is to carry scars, to stumble, to be lost, and yet to keep walking toward love. It is not our wounds that block us from peace but our refusal to meet them with tenderness.
When we accept our own brokenness, we begin to see it as less of a problem to be fixed. Vishrant reminds us that those who can sit with their own pain become gentle toward the pain of others, for self-compassion naturally extends outward. The one that loves themselves cannot help but love the world, because it knows that every being is fighting a silent battle inside.
In embracing our collective imperfection, we dissolve the illusion of separation, and what remains is love, simple and boundless. Through brokenness, we discover wholeness, for it was never about being perfect but about seeing that we were love all along.
Seeing others through your own tenderness
“So within, so without.”
Vishrant says that how we relate to others is often a mirror of how we relate to ourselves, for the eyes that look outward are coloured by the mind within, and if we are harsh with ourselves, we will find fault in others; if we are loving, we will see beauty everywhere.
He says that every act of self-compassion becomes an act of compassion for the world, because we cannot hold kindness in isolation. The person who is in complete acceptance of themselves naturally radiates peace, and this peace becomes a quiet invitation for others to rest.
As awareness deepens, we begin to see that all anger, blame, and strong judgments arise from pain that has not yet been met with love. When we tend to our inner wounds, the outer world begins to reflect that healing, for consciousness mirrors itself in all directions.
In this way, spiritual practice becomes an act of service to all beings, for every time we choose tenderness within, we reduce the total amount of suffering in the world. As Jesus said, “Let he who hath not sinned, cast the first stone,” and in remembering our shared imperfection, we return to the heart.
The lesson of gentleness and self-acceptance
Vishrant explains that real self-love is not vanity or indulgence but the quiet courage to embrace what is true, to hold yourself with softness even when the world is harsh. When the mind stops fighting itself, awareness flowers, and love reveals its presence in every breath.
He teaches that to love oneself is to become self-nourishing, to stop waiting for the world’s approval and instead offer it inwardly in the form of acceptance, kindness, and care. When you are no longer at war with yourself, you stop seeking from others what you already carry within.
If you reject yourself, the world will seem hostile; if you accept yourself, dealing with the world becomes easy, the reality you live in mirrors the way you treat your own being and so the first step toward peace is to become the friend you have always longed for.
Join Satsang with Vishrant, sit in the buddha field and the presence of love, and discover the quiet power of being on your own side, where love becomes your natural way of being.
