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Have you ever wondered if you can soothe a grieving heart?

In this satsang excerpt, Vishrant talks about what is required to overcome grief.


Questioner:

How can we deal with the separation pain with someone who is very close to our heart?

If someone dies, if my parents die, how do I take it?

Vishrant:

Well, there’s a couple of things to remember, if we’re not thinking about it, it probably won’t hurt us. It hurts us when we start thinking about it and we start running the story of the loss and usually the loss is of a projected future with that person.

If we don’t entertain the story, we don’t go down that track, but most people do entertain the story and suffer a great deal of grief. When we move to total acceptance of what is the story is over.

And so, the way out of grief is acceptance but for a lot of people it’s very hard to get to acceptance, they have to go through all these other stages first.

But as a grief counsellor I learned about the grief cycle, how it all worked and started looking at life from the perspective of let’s accept what is, rather than actually disagree with what is.

So instead of judging things as good or bad I started judging, not judging, I started seeing things as this is just what is, this is what’s happening. And in that everything disappears.

It’s only when we go to a story that we get caught, the story of right the story of wrong. If we stay away from story, we can stay pretty free because acceptance will eventually come if someone dies, why not make it sooner than later?

 So, I teach acceptance.

Four years ago I lost my son to cancer he was only 21.

And so, that’s such a tragedy to see such a young life die, disappear. But the thing is everybody else is still alive. And so, everybody is my son, and everybody is my daughter and I treat them accordingly because I love them. Yeah.

Also, I don’t get into entertaining the story of loss because it doesn’t help anybody. Not at all. Quite often, grief can drive us to look for higher consciousness because there’s a recognition that this life is suffering.

Dukkha or dissatisfying.